Starting a serious relationship has become a great dilemma for Chinese women in Bay Area. Mostly, Chinese women are talented, have a high education, and strong skills. They become leftover girls after years studying and achieving their dreams. This leaves them no time to work on their beauty.
Observations reflect this issue in many ways. Information like “SF Bay Area women seeking men” on Craigslist is growing rapidly. Online dating sites also reveal increasing trends year by year. In 2012, there was a 57 percent increase while comparing with the previous year, according to datingsitesreviews.com. Additionally, hundreds of Chinese women take part in speed dating events every week in Bay Area.
While interviewing 15 Chinese women, 14 stated that they were facing a difficult time finding a boyfriend or husband.
“Missing the best timing to build a good relationship”
“I did not have time to make a boyfriend while studying in university. I am ready for looking for a man now but my age becomes a very significant challenge,” said Jean, a female harpist of the San Francisco Symphony. “I think I missed the best timing to build a good relationship.”
Culturally, Chinese men truly care about women’s ages. If a girl is over than 30 years old, she will face a big challenge to find a better man. Under China’s policy, a Chinese girl should start to go to primary school at seven years old and receive her bachelor’s degree at around 23. If she studies for her master’s and PhD degree, she will end her school life in her early thirties.
“We are too picky”
Girls are concerned about numerous things: what kind of job is he doing? What part of China is he from? How many siblings does he have? Do the man’s parents live with him or separately after he married? Is he tall? Does he have poor hygiene? Etc.
A 31 years old girl Yujie, who received her PhD degree from UCLA four years ago, said to me, “I feel tired to look for a boyfriend. I have tried millions [of] times in the past years, especially in 2014. Unfortunately, almost nobody even came up to my standard of choosing a boyfriend. I know I am too picky. A man’s height, social status, and good looking [looks] are all very important to girls, which, I guess, is one of the reasons why I am still single now.”
At times, in order to catch up with the youth, girls start to consider having foreign boyfriends. Most Chinese women believe that foreigners are not concerned about a woman’s age too much, because it is hard to physically tell how old a Chinese woman is for most foreigners. Nevertheless, the language and culture of those men still matter to Chinese girls.
Language?
Studying a second language is daunting. Even though their GRE or GMAT scores are much higher than average level, most Chinese girls still feel that they could only talk deeply about themselves to people who speak same first language.
Culture?
Once married, each person will live with his or her spouse’s culture every day. The Bay Area remains the most diverse community in America. According to 2010 United States Census, the Bay Area is 30 percent Chinese. Even though most Chinese girls have no trouble communicating in English, they still feel much more comfortable with people from same cultures while building in a relationship or family. This makes it easier for them to better interact with and understand the world.
There are possible solutions to this issue. Numerous dating sitessuch as 2redbeans.com, Match.com, and zoosk.com are trying to provide more opportunities for Chinese women, who focus greatly on pursuing their career.
A dating expert LeeAnn Webster also offers numerous ideas. For example, she helps people meet a person quickly and effectively by using specific skills in her book, Dating at the Speed of Life – How to Make A Date in Five Minutes.
Sabrina Qu: International Journalist 